I do not know, indeed I think it would be impossible found out, if anyone else has led the sort of life I created for myself. I cannot blame anyone else for the decisions I have taken or the paths that so far I have chosen to follow. Now, after more than fifty years of dissolute living, my life is, I feel, is coming to an end and it has become necessary for me to unburden myself. No one knows everything about about me. Not my parents, my siblings, my wife , my children or any aquaintences ...